Enoughness

A message on John 11:1-45

In today’s reading, we hear about one of Jesus’ most popular miracles. With many challenges and questions from the crowd, Jesus raises his friend, Lazarus, from the dead.

Let’s consider Lazarus for a moment. How did he earn such a gift as to be resurrected?

What did Lazarus do enough of, or avoid doing, to earn himself a literal restart?

As I reflected on this passage, I began to imagine what it would be like for Jesus to weigh the life of his friend, Lazarus, and whether he had earned a restart.

My dogs laid next to me as I was reflecting on this passage and so naturally I began to wonder what Jesus would do if faced with the decision of whether or not to raise a dog from the dead.

This really is a no brainer, isn’t it? I am more of a dog person than a people person so there really is no debate over whether Jesus should raise old Lassie from the dead.

My dogs, Penny and Pande, rarely disappoint me. Sometimes they annoy me with their incessant barking or tearing at the  couch but this is just part of their nature. I’ve come to accept that they are just being dogs. And part of being dogs does not seem to include having grouchy days during which they are unaffectionate, rude, or downright cruel. They are almost always up for a cuddle or hug - even when I am not at my best.

On the other hand, humans are a bit more complex - with the capacity to be kind and affectionate and also with the capacity for great destruction. Certainly, Jesus would raise a dog from the dead. But if it’s a human, could we blame him for hesitating for a beat or two?

But… that is not the case. Jesus does not hesitate. In fact, for Jesus, the question of Lazarus’ worthiness is not part of his problem-solving analysis. Lazarus, and the life he lead, the mistakes he made, or the good he did, does not come into play.

And this is par for the course whenever we read about Jesus. Christ never asks the question “Are they enough?” Or “Are they worthy?” No, instead, it seems Jesus just presupposes this; it’s just a given; you didn’t do anything to deserve it and, despite your best efforts, you have not fallen out of favor. You simply are enough.

Indeed, with imperfections galore, you are enough.

As I continue to reflect and interpret, take what serves you and leave the rest.

You are enough. You were always enough.

Do you recall the birth of your child? Or, if you do not have children, can you remember the first time you held a newborn niece, nephew or your neighbor’s child?

If you’ve had such an opportunity, do you recall your judgment of the newborn? Not whether they were the cutest or ugliest baby - that is always debatable and usually dependent on how you feel about the parents. But your judgment of how much they were worth. Do you remember the monetary value you assigned them?

Some of you have experienced holding your baby before they were cleaned and just as their eyes opened for the first time... you know, before they walked, talked, held a job, fell in love, created a family of their own, pleaded for God’s help, saved another’s life, received a degree or promotion, sent thank you cards, prepared meals, gained wealth, lost weight, gained responsibility, faced mistakes, rose from tragedy, gained power and influence. Remember, that child hadn’t done anything.

Was that child enough for you before all that? Did you consider, for a moment, handing that child back to the doctor and saying, “this kid hasn’t earned my affection yet… let’s at least wait till he can say “mama”?”

—

I recall one of my friend’s re-telling the birth story of her son. She was absolutely certain that she would be having a daughter and prepared the nursery for this exact occasion. Pink ribbons met with fantasies of braiding her hair, having talks about teenage drama, and then having glasses of wine on the porch together as adult women. She was prepared and quite excited for her new baby girl!

“It’s a boy?” She yelled at the nurse, wide-eyed and astounded that her expectations and prayers and dreams had fallen flat, “Oh my god, what?” The nurse held the baby boy, naked and crying for a moment, with her eyes wide as well.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The nurse, confused, backed away from the bed while holding her child.

My friend yelled again, “What? No! Give him to me! I still want him!” And filled with joy, she took her new baby boy.

—

I think this is a beautiful example of how God must respond at our birth. I think this is also a beautiful example of how God responds after we fall, and as we heal and are restored, when we get up after making mistakes. I think this is a beautiful example of how God meets us every morning.

“What? No! Give him to me! I still want him!”

In Genesis 1:31, God said of the newly birthed creation that it was “very good.” I do not see how this has changed. Granted, wars erupt, political strife, racial hate, economic disparity, systematic oppression accompany disease, fear and depression. Granted, democracy seems to be hanging on by a very thin thread and so does the mental and physical health of most Americans I know. So, none of this seems good. Things do not feel good.

And yet, creation is “very good”.

And being a part of God’s loving creation does not require our allegiance to a domination, sect, rituals, or any type of lip-service.

In the words of Franciscan priest, Richard Rohr; “For Jesus, there are no postures, group memberships, behaviors, prayer rituals, dietary rules, asceticism, or social awareness that, of themselves, transform us or make us enlightened, saved, or superior. There are no contaminating elements or people to expel or exclude…Everyone and everything belongs.”

With imperfections galore, you are enough.

You were born enough and you remain enough. You are worth restoration, resurrection, and another shot. Multiple shots.

It does not always feel that way - that we can begin again - that we are worth it. We get wrapped and stuck in bad habits. What once served to comfort and protect us have become maladaptive behaviors - behaviors that wind around us and constrict us. Strong chemical addictions like alcohol and drugs, and include caffeine and sugar, these include behaviors like gambling or compulsively checking email. And, for almost everyone, it includes compulsive thinking - getting stuck in habits of self-blame, fear, depression and judgment.

These are normal human experiences but they fool us into concluding that we are not enough. But these are not signs that we are broken, we are just stuck in habits. We are not a mistake, we are just trying to fill the void - we are scared and trying to return home.

Underneath all those habits is an unchanged human soul and this soul is sacred. Jesus tries to remind us. Matthew 9:10-11 tells us that Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners. He invited himself into a “sinner’s” house. He broke bread with lepers, he talked to non-Jewish women when it was culturally unacceptable to do so, and He received a woman with a poor reputation at a men’s dinner.

Really, the only qualification to get a visit from Jesus was to have the experience that you were not enough.

Of course, there are some lives or some times in our lives that conversely seem to assure us that we are indeed very valuable. We have worked hard enough, taken care enough of ourselves and others. We have been educated enough, gotten high enough scores, we have been promoted enough, made enough money, traveled enough, said our prayers enough, or given enough money to charity. We have certainly earned a sense of pride and feel like we are enough. At least temporarily. This feeling does not change anything though. All this too is habitual thinking. The habit of pride.

This too does not change your essence. The essence of our nature is of God and we were already enough.

Indeed, with imperfections galore, you are enough.

Earning your way into the enoughness camp is not possible. Shame is not a requirement for membership, begging like Lassie is not necessary, you do not need to hang your head in front of the Creator so that you may be told to raise it again.

God is love, not the arbiter of retribution. God is love and love “does not keep a record of wrongs, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

So what then? You may ask, What do I do with all this ooey, gooey pure enoughness?

What is there to strive for if I have already arrived at my top value?

I don’t know. Good question… why are you striving so hard?

The manifestation of grace occurs each time we give birth to a new baby, each time we give birth to a new phase of life, each time we join the birthing of a new day and each time we give birth to remembering our essence. Such revelations can be jarring.

“Oh crap - I am enough and always have been. I forgot. What have I been obsessing over? What have I been trying to prove?”

Theologian, John Philip Newell maintains that we already know this enoughness, “when we hold a new born child in our arms and breathe in nature’s holy purity in the scent of the child’s skin… or when we witness the flowering and fruiting of the earth or watch the glory of a new daylight emerging from the darkness of night.”

Such moments are here to remind us that we are enough and we are invited to remember especially when times are dark or when we expect something completely different than what is.

This is what it means to have faith - to remember and be transformed by your recalling of your “very good” essence - that, like Lazarus, the decision to give you yet another chance is not one based on meritocracy but rather grace, and that although troubles and tragedy will find us, they will never define us.

Indeed, with imperfections galore, you are enough.